“My life is boring”

A lifetime goes by quickly.

You probably had this feeling — the older you get, the faster time goes by. You come home from work or school every day, eat, scroll on your phone, watch some Netflix, fall asleep, and rinse and repeat. Days turn into weeks and months, and the years just fly by.

Many people spend most of their lives going through the same routine — working the same 9–5 job, living in the same city, having the same holidays and schedules, and coming home to the same family.

You may know someone who still brags about their “glory days” in college or high school despite being many years out of school. You might think they peaked in high school or college.

Others complain about how boring their lives are, yet they feel too busy or too exhausted to make a change in their lives.

Unfortunately, that's just the reality of adulthood. It’s boring. And you are not alone.

However, life is too short to be spent like this.

Life is a constant barrage of new experiences up until you finish school and enter the workforce. First days of school, making new friends, learning new things, first time driving and travelling, first dates and relationships, first job, first car… Except, all of these milestones are forced upon you most of the time — society and the system made it such.

However, once many people are done with school, new experiences are hard to come by. They are sucked into adult responsibilities and have little time and energy to seek out new experiences. There is always another bill to pay and a meal to put on the table. They settle into a routine for the rest of their lives. Everything becomes repetitive, and they stop living life.

Time is a perception — Time feels faster when you’re doing the same thing over and over, going through the same routine. It also feels slower when you are constantly experiencing new things. It’s no wonder why it seems like your “glory days” of high school/college felt like yesterday, and why many people still fondly reminisce about their first dates and first jobs years later — it is a unique time in their lives full of new experiences. Everything felt exciting at the time.

There is a reason why brain development slows around age 25 — it is around the age when most people begin to settle into routines, stop experiencing new things regularly, and stop growing as a result. You stop growing when you stop learning and having new experiences, and most people live like that once they are out of college/university. Plus, most people simply don’t like new things and rather stay in their comfort zones.

Furthermore, with the abundance of information on the Internet and social media, we already know everything going around us already, so when you actually try something new, it doesn’t feel as new or exciting — you’ve already seen someone else do it.

And chances are, you’re probably just doing it to “fit in” and not feel missed out, so rather than enjoying the activity itself, it’s more like checking a box and being able to post it on social media and tell others. Of course, it doesn’t feel as exciting because you’re not enjoying the moment.

Many adults feel like they are trapped — they are stuck in their 9 to 5 and feel like they don’t have time or energy to seek out new experiences. They feel purposeless and empty. Many are miserable, lonely, and struggle with mental health.

They sacrificed their individual freedoms for responsibilities — to care and provide for the family, to be a top performer at work, and to be the rock in their family and community. They barely have any time to themselves to pursue their own hobbies. They rarely socialize as everyone else is also busy and minding their own business.

They’ve been so used to following societal expectations and roles that they don’t know who they are anymore. They never truly lived for themselves. And it feels daunting that 30–40 years of your adult life will be spent like this, which unfortunately, unless you’re quite privileged, will be most of us.

It’s easy to settle into that life — finish school, get a full-time job, get married, have kids, and boom you’ll be 60 and still doing the same thing. You need to put time and effort into living the life you want.

Go out and try different things so you discover what you enjoy. Then use your job and income to enable you to do things you truly enjoy and fulfil your purpose. Strive for financial freedom so you can retire early, pursue your hobbies, and spend time with people you love.

Freedom is a state of mind, at least that’s what I have come to believe. It’s about the desire to make the most out of what you have been given — Regardless if you have a family/relationship/career or not. If you desire to be free, do something about it. Most people simply have their dreams killed by the adult grind and become empty shells of themselves.

Furthermore, you need to be the one reaching out to other people and connecting people together. Most people are living mundane and boring lives and long for someone to reach out to them. Be the organizer of your community! This way, everyone feels happier in the end.

To be interesting, be interested.

— Dale Carnegie

Be interested in new things. Be interested in other people. Be interested in new knowledge. Be open-minded. Be curious.

We have come a long way from decades ago — it is easier than ever now to learn, try new things, and seek new information. Travelling has never been easier, entertainment is more affordable and accessible than ever, and knowledge is easier to access than ever.

Our brains thrive on new experiences and it makes us feel good. Doing the same thing, doesn’t matter how exciting it is initially (like partying or drugs), will get boring after a while (diminishing dopamine releases). Even excitement itself gets boring — you hear lots of stories of celebrities or athletes who had fame and lived lavishly but retreated to a “normal” life afterward. People crave what they don’t have — The grass is always greener.

You don’t have to be making grand plans like travelling the world, becoming rich and famous, or striving to live the “high life” — that’s not the key to an interesting life. Most of us probably won’t get to experience that anyway, so it’s not a realistic goal. Greed is infinite, and you’ll never feel satisfied chasing after those materialistic things (or chasing the dopamine).

Instead, focus on the day-to-day details and immerse yourself in it — stop and smell the flowers. Talk to a stranger and learn about their life. Go explore a new store/restaurant in your neighborhood. Try a different way of doing your usual thing. Listen to a new song, watch a new movie, or cook a new recipe.

It doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive with your other goals, such as your family and career. You can put effort into these things but not feel trapped and still live an interesting life — it’s a mentality. It’s about how you do it, not what you do.

It doesn’t matter what you do; enjoy the process and the journey. Don’t get too hung up chasing the results — you’ll always feel miserable and empty. The chase is neverending and life will be over before you know it.

Be the best version of yourself and immerse in your interests. Be enthusiastic about your interests and other things. And don’t worry about whether others think you are boring or not — it’s your life to live. One person’s boring is another person’s interesting.

Finally, fix your mental health, and step into the real world. What you see online is merely an illusion and does not represent reality. You want to free your mind. You will see the world through a different lens and actually start enjoying the beauty of life.