Stop chasing
If you spend time chasing butterflies, they’ll fly away. But if you spend time making a beautiful garden, the butterflies will come.
Whether it’s happiness, money, power, fame, relationships, love, or success, chasing stuff is empty and meaningless.
Instead, the only thing you should chase is self-excellence. And enjoy the journey to excellence.
Most people are giving into their animalistic desires or trying to live a life that is defined by our hedonistic and materialistic societal standards and external validation. They are not truly living for themselves.
Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.
— Steve Jobs
I get it, life is short. However, chasing the wrong mindset. I believe the more you chase or cannot let go of things, the less you will get. Just like holding onto sand in your hand, the tighter you grip, the less you can hold.
Chasing is a slave mentality. When you chase, you become a slave to whatever you are chasing. You are putting that thing on a pedestal and not looking at the big picture — it is a scarcity mindset. To become the master of your life, you have to ditch that mindset and let things come to you.
Not having happiness, money, relationships, or success is usually a symptom of a greater problem, not a cause of itself. You need to address that problem first. As an engineer, I believe blindly chasing the result without addressing the root causes will not lead to success in most cases.
Just like a boat needs to be strong and doesn’t have leaks to carry more goods, you need to be strong and be able to carry happiness, money, power, love, success, etc. If you don’t have the ability, you won’t be able to hold onto these things even if you manage to get them.
There is a reason why most lottery winners quickly blow through their money and fall into quick demise. They don’t have what it takes to hold onto it. And as with anything else in life, the outcome is not always guaranteed.
The Illusion of More
Think about this: You can have all the money, fame, toys, and luxuries in the world, but you will still sleep in the same 2-meter-long bed, eat three meals a day, and go through the same human experiences as everyone else. And when you die, your hands will still be empty.
Being alive, having food to eat and a roof over your head, having a healthy body, and having people who love you are luxuries that too many take for granted. Most people don’t realize how lucky they already are, while they dwell on the next designer bag or sports car.
Desires lead to misery, and gratefulness leads to happiness.
If you aren’t attached to anything, you’re free. But total freedom is not happiness. The goal is not to have nothing, but rather to understand that attachment to external things will never bring lasting fulfillment.
Attractiveness, money, status, and happiness are all byproducts of being your best self and providing value to the world. The more you focus inward, the more these things will naturally gravitate toward you.
Too many people are chasing outcomes instead of journeys. That’s the difference. The people who truly succeed are the ones who focus on the process, not the reward. They focus on what’s right in front of them and getting these things right, rather than looking too far ahead.
For example, nobody knew you could get rich from streaming or making content back in the day. The ones who made it did so because they loved what they were doing. Today, content creation is saturated with people doing it solely for money, and most fail because they lack passion. You will not succeed if you’re only thinking about the outcome.
As I said before, we live in an ADHD society and few people can focus on a single thing for too long. Everyone believes the grass is greener and wants to pursue immediate gratification rather than focusing on the process and building themselves. There is a reason why mental health is so poor today.
What Not to Chase
- Don’t chase happiness
“Do things that make you happy.” It’s one of the biggest lies out there.
Happiness is not a destination; it’s something to be found in the present moment. You don’t become happy by achieving something in the future — you become happy by recognizing and embracing what you have right now.
Happiness is an active choice. If you choose to be grateful and witness the abundance in your life instead of focusing on what’s missing, you are choosing to be happy.
2. Don’t chase money
As I talked about in another blog post, money is not the end to all means, and it does not solve all problems. There are many things one cannot buy with money — youth, time lost, and genuine love/relationships.
Money is merely a tool, not a purpose. The people who chase money end up feeling empty because no amount of money will ever be enough. There will always be a bigger paycheck, a fancier car, flashier clothes, or a more luxurious lifestyle to attain. Instead, focus on creating value and mastering skills — money will follow naturally.
3. Don’t chase power, fame, or validation
Seeking power and fame for the sake of status leads to insecurity and emptiness. If your sense of self-worth depends on the approval of others, you will always be at their mercy. True confidence comes from within, not from external validation.
Too many people buy things they don’t need, with money they don’t have, to impress people they don’t like.
4. Don’t chase love, relationships, or people
As I talked about in my dating and friendship blogs, chasing love or relationships will only push people away. Desperation is unattractive, and real connections cannot be forced. Work on yourself, become someone worth being with, and the right people will naturally gravitate toward you.
5. Don’t chase success
Success is the byproduct of consistent effort, passion, and self-discipline. The people who achieve greatness aren’t those who obsess over the end goal, but those who fall in love with the process of becoming great. They work hard and persist towards their goals rather than constantly seeking the next “get rich quick” scheme or instant gratification.
I spent years chasing all these things above, grinding and sacrificing my well-being for money and accomplishments for external validation. Once I hit a milestone, there was always another one to pursue — it was a neverending race to the bottom. There was always something nicer, and someone doing better at something. I was not happy or satisfied. And years of not living for myself have led to burnout.
It took me finding my purpose through religion to get out of that mindset. I had to stop comparing myself to others and not listen to what I was told to do by society. I slowed down my life, decommitted from a lot of things, focused on inner peace, and started living for myself. It has brought me more joy than chasing has ever done.
Chasing things does not make you happier or wealthier. It makes you desperate, narrow-minded, and anxious. That’s how people become addicted — to money, relationships, power, fame — because they think “more” will solve their problems or make them happy. But it won’t.
So instead of chasing,
- Work on bettering yourself — Become valuable, and the things you want whether that is money or fame or relationships, will come naturally.
- Think long-term — Chasing is short-term thinking. Focus on growth, learning, and mastery instead.
- Let go of attachment — The less you need, the more you gain, and the more you are at peace.
- Be grateful and content with what you have — You are already lucky to be alive and reading this blog post.
- Pursue things that cannot be taken from you — Skills, health, mindset, character, and knowledge.
When you stop chasing and start focusing inward, life begins to work for you instead of against you. You become a magnet for the very things you once ran after.
So stop running. Stop chasing. Build your garden, and let the butterflies come to you.
