You are doing pretty well

Time for a little optimism.

I know this blog talks a lot about world issues and personal problems and paints a negative picture of things, but objectively speaking, things are not so bad right now. There are many reasons to be optimistic about the future.

I know, didn’t I just talk about loneliness, mental health crises, world conflicts, economic recessions, the dangers of AI, and so on?

As much as I’m a realist, I am an idealist at heart, and I wish the best for our world. I want to help as many people as I can by telling the truth.

The reason I talk about these personal and world issues is so we can find solutions. Hopefully, by solving these problems, the world will become a better place. It’s the engineering mindset.

We all know by now that modern media likes to spread negativity.

People like to spread negativity in general since it garners more attention. It’s our survival instinct to react more to negative and threatening news than positive ones. Even when we deal with people, most of us immediately notice the red flags first rather than the green flags.

As a result, when things are going well, you don’t hear much about it. Good news is boring. No news is boring. Peace is boring. Green flags are boring.

With how many people are addicted to substances (dopamine) now, people are addicted to drama and strong emotions since it generates more stimulation. As a result, many people go out of their way to seek out drama and emotions when things get too peaceful.

News and media outlets feast on this to maximize their viewership and profits. The social media and the Internet are even worse. Hell, even I fall into this trap as I am developing the content for this blog — I admit I make things sound worse than they are in reality.

Most people don’t brag or complain about how peaceful or boring their life is. People only want to showcase their highs and lows. Many are faking it altogether just to get some attention.

As a result, a lot of negativity you read online, from horror dating stories, bad personalities / experiences, harassment, poor working conditions, mental health issues, interpersonal conflicts, or fights, are often edge cases or outliers that people don’t hear about in real life. Every post is cherry-picked and crafted to get the most attention. The normal, peaceful, and boring stuff doesn’t get attention so they are not talked about at all.

Furthermore, a lot of these problems are simply people getting bored and creating their own drama. If you’re seeking inner peace, staying away from drama, and finding like-minded people, these things won’t impact you.

You attract who you are. If your life is full of drama, conflict, chaos, and negativity, maybe it’s time to look in a mirror. If you constantly smell sh**, take a look at your own shoes.

As much as I (and others) like to claim how bad things are in the world right now, from dating to finances to society, most people are simply unaware, or at least, not affected at all if they’re not online 24/7.

What you see online is often survivorship bias. Most people offline are simply relaxing in their little bubbles, working their boring jobs, hanging out with their family and friends, and going about with their lives as usual without complaining about every problem.

The world is a manifestation of your mind. If you want a change in the outer world, first you have to change your inner world.

Confirmation bias is very real and shapes your thoughts and actions. You pay attention to what you believe in and it confirms your beliefs more. You attract who you are and what you believe in. You make what you believe in.

Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react.

If you’re constantly exuding negativity and doomerism, your life will forever be tragic. If you’re constantly in fear, you’ll get nothing done.

You can also choose to look at the world in a more positive light, and have hope for the present and future.

Many people like to complain about the countless failures and rejections they are going through, or how many flaws they have that are the end of the world. The reality is not so bad — it’s all in their heads.

I believe the only pain you suffer is the one you create for yourself. A lot of problems are not really problems. It is not a problem if you don't make it one.

The self-fulfilling prophecy is very real. When you believe in an outcome, your subconscious actions lead you to create that outcome.

A common example is dating — when you believe you’ll always be rejected, you carry yourself like a reject and repel your potential dates. Similarly, if you carry yourself with esteem and believe that you’ll succeed, you interact with people with confidence and you end up attracting them.

Stop worrying about the outcome, especially if it’s something that hasn’t happened yet. Stop worrying about if you’re not good at something or not up to standard by some arbitrary metric (like your appearance). Stop worrying that you are excluded from achieving something because you’re being dealt a bad card. Everything is possible. Dream big and go get what you want!

Rejection and failure are just a part of the journey to success. It’s not the end of the world if you get turned down by a date or if you don’t pass your exam. Don’t take it personally. Everyone goes through countless failures throughout a lifetime. Learn from your mistakes and go enjoy your life, don’t put failure on a pedestal. Everyone has fears, but the strongest just move forward.

Comparison is the thief of joy.

Also, it’s best to live life with blinders on and stop comparing. Stop giving a f*** about how others think and their standards. Stop feeling like you are missing out on things. Most people aren’t thinking about you as much as you think — it’s all in your head. Ignorance IS bliss after all.

Everyone is human and has flaws — it’s not a problem if you don’t make it a problem. And if you don't constantly compare yourself to others or care about how others perceive you based on their arbitrary standards, it’s not really a flaw. Own yourself and be comfortable in your own skin.

Even if you can’t help comparing yourself to others, as most of us do, if you’re reading this blog post now, you must be very fortunate. You probably have a roof over your head right now and have electricity and Internet — things that many people in the world wish they had. Be grateful for what you have and don’t dwell on what you don’t have — greed is infinite and you can’t have it all. Desire leads to misery. Gratefulness leads to happiness.

Also, other people’s thoughts and behaviours are not reflections of your self-worth. You are valuable and lovable as-is.

If you can’t shake off the constant thoughts of negativity, maybe it’s time to get off social media, get out of your head, and live in the real world.

The world is much bigger than the bubble you are in that is the Internet and media. The world is much greater than the failures, rejections, and flaws that are letting you down, or the things you are missing out on.

Get over your fears. Celebrate your successes and dream bigger. Go out and actually live life.

Finally, let’s look at the bigger picture.

For much of human history, we fought for basic survival. Only recently did most of us not have that existential crisis anymore and have the free time and extra resources to actually enjoy our lives.

This is truly a gift for humanity, enabled by our advancements in science, technology, and productivity.

Although all technologies have pros and cons, they have objectively changed human life for the better. From fewer diseases to being able to generate more wealth for the average person, and enabling people to travel the world and connect more easily, our quality of life today is so much better compared to merely a century ago.

We have also made leaps and bounds in reducing slavery, racism, sexism, feudalism/classism, and other forms of discrimination. As much as the media likes to talk about how bad things are today, we are objectively less racist, sexist, and more equal, and more free compared to the past.

What you see is merely the media trying to garner attention by amplifying negativity and stirring up inter-group conflicts as told by those in power (divide and conquer the population).

We have so many more freedoms and human rights now compared to the past, when people had to work in rigid communities and adhere to strict social roles and rules to maximize their chances of survival.

But what about climate change? What about the Earth running out of resources? What about the population/demographic collapse? What about unmitigated AI? The media likes to claim we have all these existential threats.

I believe it’s all needless worrying. History has shown that humans are very adaptable. After all, we have survived all kinds of drastic changes and catastrophes in the past, from plagues to volcanic eruptions to global cooling (Little Ice Age) to world wars to nuclear threats. So what tells me that we cannot survive the next major change or catastrophe?

Even if Earth’s resources were to run out in the not-so-distant future, or if Earth’s climate becomes too hostile, or if the predicted demographic collapse happens, or if an AI disaster happens, I am sure with technological advancement and our adaptability, humans will be able to keep thriving.

Rationalism, creativity, adaptability, and our problem-solving abilities are truly gifts from God that have allowed us to thrive on Earth. Doesn’t matter how you perceive yourself, every one of us has these talents. Let's not waste our talents and put them to good use.

You are doing pretty well. Stop worrying, dream big, and be optimistic for the future.