You’re not smart or gifted. You need to work hard and persist.

To be successful at anything, the truth is you don’t have to be special. You just have to be what most people aren’t: consistent, determined and willing to work for it.

— Tom Brady

I remember as a kid, my parents signed me up for competitive swimming. I certainly didn’t enjoy it at the beginning. I was one of the smallest and shyest kids in the pool and struggled. I was often bullied and picked on in practice, and the coaches were usually strict.

And it didn’t matter if I was sick, too busy with school, or not feeling like it, my parents always sent me to swim practice, day in and day out. No excuses. At one point, my grandparents even told my parents to stop making me go swimming, but they never budged.

I was the “good kid”. During the practices, while other kids fooled around and skipped laps/reps, I stuck to the coaches’ instructions and completed every rep and exercise. Even if I was feeling sick or tired, I pushed through.

As the years went by, I got better and started winning competitions. I got to swim for my school and captain the school team. I was able to put those skills into good use and made money as a lifeguard and swim instructor, funding my own trips and college tuition as a high school student. I got fit and healthy, and gained lots of confidence, friendships, and accolades.

These things would’ve never happened if I gave up at the beginning, or cut corners in the practices. I am forever thankful that my parents put me through competitive swimming which shaped my character.

I believe everyone is gifted or talented in one way or another. Many in this world are smart and intelligent.

But talent or intelligence alone does not replace hard work and persistence.

You probably heard about the burned-out gifted kid syndrome. A lot of smart children (children with high IQs) breeze through everything early in life, so they never develop the work ethic and persistence.

Later in life, when they actually encounter difficulties for the first time, they easily burn out and give up, because they never learned how to deal with challenges. I’ve seen too many examples of this in real life.

On the other hand, many of those who become successful later in life often aren’t the brightest or most talented children early on. They had to work hard and persist. They had to learn early on how to overcome difficulties.

Sure, you can argue that some people are just so incredibly talented and gifted which carried them far in their lives (think certain scientists, artists, or athletes). But those aren’t your average Joe or Jane.

As much as you don’t like to admit it, most of us are average. Most of us have to work hard, overcome challenges, and persevere towards our goals in life. Most of us never had it easy.

We live in an ADHD society.

From money to careers to relationships, people expect instant returns. And if they don’t get it right away, they give up and move on. There is always something new to try or something to keep us distracted.

People in the past had to work hard simply because they didn’t have another choice. It was either working hard or starving to death.

Nowadays there are endless options to make money, get rich, or merely stay alive, so why try so hard in one thing when you can easily do something else? Social media also feeds the illusion that you can succeed in doing anything easily by advertising people’s successes.

With young people’s dopamine receptors fried from electronics use and eating junk food all day, many don’t have the patience and work ethic to stick through challenges in life. They easily give up and distract themselves with all the available substances when they encounter any difficulties.

As a young adult, I see many of my peers “burning out” of school or work. They drop out of college/university or quit their jobs because they say they don’t enjoy it or simply want to “find themselves”.

And guess what, most of them just sit at home and play video games, or they wander aimlessly, often pursuing some “passions” or “business ideas”, which is usually just a mask for wasting time on their computers all day, or trying out some “get rich quick” schemes from social media.

These people gave up on themselves too soon. Most of them barely started in their careers and encountered the typical challenges you’d expect at the entry-level — high stress, grunt work, lack of prospects, lots of competition, etc.

Because their attention spans are so short having grown up with electronics, and with the illusion that there are so many different things to try today, they would rather quit than persevere through the challenges. Because they never stick around long enough to see the fruits of their labor, they don’t think it’s worthwhile, so they lose motivation and burn out.

You see the same thing with dating and relationships (as I talked about in my post on modern dating), hobbies, or self-improvement — If things are not going the right way immediately, people quit rather than try to work things out. People have become lazy and entitled.

Social media and consumerism have given us the illusion of choice — you’re free to do whatever you enjoy, pursue whatever you’re interested in, or date whoever you want — there are countless options out there. As with anything, humans struggle when presented with too many choices.

As a result, the grass is always greener, and nobody wants to put in the hard work and overcome challenges while expecting instant results. It’s instant gratification and ADHD at a societal level.

Nothing worthwhile in life comes easy.

Good things often take many years to build — whether it is a career, a family, a building, a nation, or a civilization. It’s easy to destroy things or call it quits.

Back in the day, you see people sticking to the same job and same career path for 10, 20, or 30 years, working their way up the ladder and building value and expertise. You see people staying married for decades working through countless challenges and growing together. You see people sticking to the same hobby for years and making great things out of it.

Most of us get enjoyment once we see the success of our work. It is the healthy dopamine cycle in your brain. However, with easy dopamine abundant in all the substances today (social media, electronics, video games, junk food, drugs, sex, etc.), it is much easier to chase that than to work hard on things that matter.

As a result, people’s brains are fried. They become mentally weak. It is the main reason why mental health is so poor in the general population today.

Many people lose motivation and burn out because they don’t work hard and persevere long enough to see the fruits of their labor. How do you get good at things and succeed if you don’t put in the time and effort? Many people today put in minimal effort, end up with mediocre results, give up too soon, and wonder why they are unsuccessful, unfulfilled, and unhappy.

The process is often not enjoyable and sometimes painful. It is not easy to overcome challenges, especially when you can do so many other things to distract yourself.

The difference between average and great is that the great keep doing what needs to be done whether they feel like it or not.

Oftentimes, things just need to be done regardless of how you’re feeling. Time doesn’t wait. Life doesn’t care about your feelings. Everyone has ups and downs, but successful people are consistent and don’t let it affect them.

Too many today are a slave to their feelings and let it take over their lives. Too many people give up on their dreams because they are feeling down at the moment. That’s what separates the average and great.

And in the end, success feels sweeter because you’ve been through the pain. It is easy to always take the path of least resistance and be comfortable, but are you really growing that way?

On the other hand, with the influence of social media, people are getting greedy and trying to have it all rather than focusing on a few important things. People cannot make up their minds.

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times.

— Bruce Lee

The truth is, everyone’s time and energy are finite, and there are infinite things in the world to learn and try.

Trying to do it all means you are not putting enough time and effort into one or two things to be great, while being average or below-average at many things. It is not a recipe for success.

In every field and profession, from business to sports to arts to technology, the most successful are often the ones who have invested years of hard work and dedication and became experts, not the ones trying out many different things who cannot make up their minds.

So make up your mind on what is important. Choose a path and stick to it — they are not all that different at the end of the day. Whether it is a career path or a hobby/sport, it is mostly grunt and repetitive work, especially at the beginning. It is easy to get bored, disillusioned, and give up.

Every new thing feels good until the novelty wears off. The grass is NOT always greener. Choose wisely and stick to one thing at a time. Put in the effort and be great at it. It usually pays off in the long run rather than trying to do many things and be the master of none.

Finally, life is too short to be average. You should challenge yourself to be great.

Average is a very low bar. The average person in the US is single or divorced, overweight, thousands in debt, living paycheck to paycheck, and has a ton of mental health issues. Is that the life you want?

It gives you real confidence and a real sense of accomplishment knowing that you’ve put in the hard work and succeeded. You feel proud looking back on your journey of growth and the things you built along the way.

You don’t get that same feeling from distracting yourself with substances every day. It is easy to be comfortable and stop growing, and ultimately regret that you didn’t put in more effort in your life.

If you’re a parent, teach your kids early on about work ethic, persistence, and overcoming challenges. Train them to delay their gratification by limiting addictive substances (electronics, junk food, etc.). Send them to competitive sports or something that challenges them and takes hard work.

Even if they are gifted or talented, make sure they learn how to learn to handle difficulty. Make them do things they aren’t good at or uncomfortable with. Push them beyond their comfort zones so they can grow. Build that mental toughness and resilience so they don’t easily succumb to their feelings.

Finally, don’t try to take on too many things at once. Whether it is your career, relationship, or hobbies, prioritize what is important and spend most of your time and effort on these important things. 20% of the effort produces 80% of the results. Don’t be too distracted or trying to have it all.

There is no secret to success after all.